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Lilac

Thunder

with every fibre of my first person singular

i reach out towards the love that lies ahead

to future blows

and to love itself

- peter kral, in search of the essence of place

I am the cunt of the universe

I am the clit of the world

I am the eternal universal orgasm

I am the stars of the galaxy

I am the stars of your lids

And I twinkle I twinkle on you my shiny crazy diamond

I am the sigh of the man fast asleep in the night

I am the scream of the woman giving birth

I am the gasp of the child sat alone in his room

I am all around, yes I am all around

I am the anus of Jesus

I am the cock of Christ

Release me in the physicality of his being

And with a million dead bodies

Their unabandoned gasp

I swim through the night like a ghost in a graveyard

I sing for you as you work at your desk

I sing for you with your headphones on

I sing for you as you walk through this city

So you settle down yes you now settle down

Why don't you just settle down

How about you just settle down

You fuckin' now settle down

You fuckin' now settle down

Settle down

Hey why are you looking at me like that

Come over here I'd like to have a chat

We'll fall in love

You fallen down right from above

We'll keep running till our legs are sore

Legs are pumping to that open door

Unashamed

We're gunna play this stupid game

Well the ball's now in your court

You've caught yourself between two stools

In a battle not yet fought

Let's just hope we don't get caught

Pull the wool down over both my eyes

Charm me sweetly let sleeping dogs lie

Unperturbed

This will not be disturbed

Keep my eyes unpeeled let tale unwind

And I'll keep thinking you're a different kind

I'll try to hide

My stupid open mind

With the benefit of doubt

I don't want to figure you out

Because behind every cloud

The sun is ready to shine out

You're a wolf in sweet sheep's wooden clothes

I think I bit off more than I can chew

Come clouds of doubt

Cut the lies and let it out

Cliches and idioms

I go backwards and forwards

While you step from left to the right

And I feel so inwards and outwards

That I'm out of step with you

You treat me like I'm an effigy

Demanding from me an apology

You speak as though I'm the apogee 

Of all you despise

When did we grow apart

Our minds so separate

And why is it so hard

To find common ground

I go backwards and forwards

While you step from left to the right

And I feel so inwards and outwards

That I'm out of step with you

And you'll say onwards and upwards

While I'll go from right to the left

And you'll feel so inwards and outwards

That I'm out of step with you

Your world is not the one I see

The world as it is is all you need

But inertia onto entropy

Your world will fall apart

How could you think like that?

To feel so differently

The world's just not like that

It seems to me

I go backwards and forwards

While you step from left to the right

And I feel so inwards and outwards

That I'm out of step with you

And you'll say onwards and upwards

While I'll go from right to the left

And you'll feel so inwards and outwards

That I'm out of step with you

The wings of history burn

The fallen bird it screams

And over it we will dance

But we're all out of time

Out of step

I live in a city with my fags queers and booze in a derelict ruin coffee stained petals strewn

My ear to the skin of my bottle cushion drum hearing evening rhythms shuffling in the morning going strong

And I sing a mmm falalala and hum a world numbing ecstasy song

And I wake and kneel and pray for you in a morning smoke velvety hue

If time's a drone then you're the note

If time's a flow then with you I float

On flower's stem I see you grow

With petals strewn my world you sew

I live in a novel I walk through its words I squat in its pages and I sing out its verse

Written with rose blood by a gladioli quill these poems I breathe in oh and these spaces I dwell

And I hear a mmm falala I hear a song with a lilac-y smell

Oh and I feel as though it must be you and you're casting your ecstasy spell

I feel this song it fills the room

I bleed and sweat its lilac bloom

And as I delve into its sweet perfume

The plot unfurls and it renders true

In words and a hum a song for the world 

In words and a hum a song for the world

And I wake and kneel and pray for you in a morning smoke velvety hue

And I wake and kneel and pray for you in a morning smoke velvety hue

Bleary-eyed footsteps in waves they fade in their own echo

I hear a whisper that falls in shade from which out you grow

This concrete mattress to which my body is towed

Hit by a lilac thunder my petals strewn

Lilac thunder

Read my body explore my words

Contradictions in every verse

My skin a landscape a map that skews

An island of liars powers undue

Flow in my stream unclotted pass

My blood my angels queer lilac class

As we unfettered compared

To the close-minded the bitter scared

Look at me don't look at them

With me your freedom you'll reclaim

Come in my body we'll linger here

Your velvet petals will repair

Velvet petals

A book like a tome down here

Lofty and dumb in the deep of a well

Still chasing a trace already gone

I laugh to pass away

You are a bunch of words writ in tow

To passing thoughts cast breeze blows strong

My mind like a tree swaying

A dance for our lost deed

Hold on hold on hold on

I tie a ribbon around a bomb

With a feather of a swan

And I try to justify everything

Don't watch my head explode

Don't watch my head explode

Don't watch me don't watch me don't watch me

Don't look at me

Hold on hold on hold on

I will not take long

Hold on hold on hold on

I'm almost gone

Is there another way to go

Ribbon around a bomb

Confiscate your feelings from me I just cannot be trusted

I'll break your heart like many before I'll break your heart into pieces

You're a boy it was once a girl I don't know what the fuck I'm doing

I feel your pain but still I don't change I think I might be a bad person

I do my worst when I'm trying my best I think I might have a problem

You treat me so well you give me your smile but I can't help but be this person

Yet I know it all

Yet still I don't change at all

They call me homme fatale

With people's hearts I prey upon

Whatever I will say I'll stay the same

Homme fatale

I am a singer songwriter in my books coffee candlelit room

Lonely words that wait to be found by crumpled petal plucking plectrum

My calloused used fingertips singing notes that give colour to grey

I sing in the first person singular but I don't know who I'm singing to

I don't know who I'm singing to

First person singular

A strange mysterious thing

The world around turning

And Dionysus sing

And you'll hear music's sting

But it will not take long

Oh it will not take long

And hear Apollo's lyre

A song which will not tire

A life you will aspire

Tis sung upon the mire

But it will not take long

Oh it will not take long

Apollo and Dionysus

I'm lost in a

Life elsewhere

A velvet

Petal

Fallen upon the floor

Life elsewhere